The nesting instinct is a crock. Its a polite way to describe the panic that insues when a very expectant mother realizes that dozens of people will be touring her house and nursery at any time.
-So I cleaned the floors... why? The kid's not going to crawl for months!
-I sorted out his diapers and organized them from Gloria's. This is completely unseen yet vital. Imagine putting a large toddler diaper on a newborn in the midnight fog, falling asleep while nursing only to wake up to a major blowout that wasn't at all contained?!?!
-Does it matter that the nursery that will hold our little man is still bathed in pepto bismol? No, he can't even see far enough to know for weeks, and when he does... well, if he's diapered in pink will he think anything differently about his room decore?
-The living room is cluttered from 4' up. Again, does it matter? He can't reach it and neither can Gloria. I can't see below 4 feet so obviously everything has to be crammed onto any flat surface high enough. And besides, the more that covers the flat surfaces, the less obvious the dust is.
-The porch shows evidence of Gloria... and Noel. Ok, get the half eaten apricots off the picnic table and, if possible, sweep up the goat poop so the barracade can be taken down (and used elsewhere), but sorry, straggles of hay and little piles of chicken feed don't make the priority list. Gloria's learning to help with barn chores. Doesn't the cute factor balance out the messy points???
-And no looking in my closet. If you started a pregnancy with a great maternity wardrobe only to end it dressing everyday in utter frustration as your belly hangs out of 90% of your shirts (and your butt peaks out of 90% of your pants) you'd have a ferocious looking discard pile too. I was tempted to pack them up, but then I thought it might feel nice to wear my "skinny maternity clothes" right after he's born. Then I'll strut around in all my fun clothes proudly sporting every wrinkle that formed in this last month of piling!
So for any of you who are going to be visiting the little man, keep that in mind. Visit the man, not the house. I'm spent and am going to sit on my butt and knit something then stash it in an illogical place, 4 feet up.
2 comments:
Ha, Ha!! I don't think my "skinny" maternity clothes fit me until a few weeks after giving birth...I was in sweatpants and oversized t-shirts for at least a couple months, in all. And I miss the days when 4 feet up was out of reach of little hands. Bethany learned at a very young age how to move chairs and climb on things to get what she was after. Enjoy your knitting!
Hilarious!!!! And the cleaning, isn't that for our mothers and mothers-in-law to do when they come to help after baby is born????
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